Page 18 – Life Beyond Borders

Sonia Marsh & Life in Belize

Guest Posts

Bex Hall

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October 24, 2012

This week’s League of Expat Writer’s features Sonia Marsh. Some of you may have read my previous interview with Sonia where I discussed her Freeways to Flipflops book. This week, Sonia discusses how her family coped with food shopping as their year as an expat in Belize – and her account of a trip to the local orthodontist.

In 2004, my family left our comfortable life in Orange County, California, to experience life as an expat in Belize, Central America. After two months of living in a hut, we decided to buy a house on the island of Ambergris Caye. There, we relied on our boat for transportation, including shopping for food.

Click on the video to hear about two unexpected aspects of life as an expat in Belize.

The transcripts from those two excerpts are here:

“Shopping Gringo Style” Chapter 32

After running out of food every other day, I finally learned how to stock up gringo style.

It had never occurred to me that hunting down food and getting enough of it to feed my hungry sons would become a full-time job.

This was something I’d taken for granted in the U.S., and now I worried that my boys weren’t getting enough nutrition to stay healthy – especially Alec, who seemed to be growing skinnier by the day.

Jennie advised me to call Raul, her taxi driver. “For $12.50 per hour, he’ll drive you to each store in town,” she said. “He’ll even help load groceries into your boat.”

I pulled out my Belizean cell phone. Never sure whether a call would go through, I was always happy to hear a voice at the other end.

“Raul? I’m a friend of Jennie’s. Are you free to take me around town grocery shopping?”

“Sure, where are you?” he asked.

“Outside Moncho’s by the airport.”

“Give me eight minutes,” he replied.

Raul showed up in a burnt sienna van – the same model all taxi drivers in San Pedro drove. I never understood how every burnt sienna Toyota van ended up in San Pedro.

In the U.S., most would have been crushed and used for scrap metal.

I soon learned to tell Raul’s taxi from the other taxis by his happy face bobbing in and out of the car whenever he drove past a relative or friend. He rarely showed up alone; most of the time another passenger, or a family member, sat in the front passenger seat, forcing me to take the back bench. He’d drop that person off somewhere while I tagged along.

Raul made shopping in bulk so much easier. He even gave me a few tips, such as where to buy chicken for less money, although that meant stocking up on 25 pounds of chicken breasts at a time. Duke rarely came with me. He preferred to wait for my call, then drive the boat over to Dahlia’s dock. All three of us carried cardboard boxes filled with canned goods, pasta, peanut butter, laundry detergent, meat, vegetables and fruits, and loaded them onto our boat.

Our freezer and cabinets were finally stocked with ground beef and chicken, and canned goods lined the shelves.

The kids complained less about starving to death, even though we rarely purchased American snacks such as cookies or chips; these were too expensive, so the boys filled up on mangoes, bananas, homemade peanut butter cookies and carrot cake.

A Belizean Orthodontist, Chapter 29

Dr. Milo’s waiting room looked normal and smelled sweet, like most Belizean floor-cleaning products. The décor was minimalist: no coffee table, no magazines, no water dispenser; just plain, white tile and white walls, with one tired poster depicting a smiling Belizean kid with metal braces.

A receptionist greeted us warmly, and I felt like the office had been opened just for us.

She led us to an examination room, where she asked Alec to lie on an antique, foot-pedaled dental chair. I clutched my large envelope from California, with state-of-the-art X-rays, including panoramic X-rays; detailed mathematical calculations of Alec’s jaw line in relation to his nose; and, of course, his cosmetic profile. All of these were taken a few days before we left the U.S., and I couldn’t wait to see Dr. Milo’s reaction to such advanced technology.

We waited ten minutes, with a radio blaring from two speakers attached to opposite corners of the room.

Apparently, the prime minister of Taiwan was on an official visit to Belize. The radio crackled irritatingly, making it difficult to hear anything but cheering crowds and the monotone voice of the announcer.

Dr. Milo, dressed in khaki pants and a polo shirt, strolled in as though he’d been paged straight from home. After a brief handshake with each one of us, he proceeded to say something, but all I could hear was the president of Belize’s speech on the radio.

“Sorry, Dr. Milo,” I said. “Could we turn the radio off, please?”

“Of course,” he said, smiling. “But today is a very important day for Belize. We have an official visit from the prime minister of Taiwan.”

He left the room and I felt guilty about my request, but when Dr. Milo returned, he continued listening to the radio, just a tad lower in volume.

“Here, Dr. Milo, I brought Alec’s recent X-rays so we don’t have to retake them.”

He took one out and held it above his head toward the dangling light bulb in the middle of the ceiling. Where was the light panel that you clip X-rays onto?

“I shall need to make molds of Alec’s teeth before I can come up with a diagnosis,” he said, not even bothering to check the envelope.

“Our California orthodontist said these X-rays are so advanced, there’s no need for molds. Can you give us an idea of how you propose to fix Alec’s lack-of-incisor problem?” I continued.

Duke gave me his how dare you look?

“We can pull out a couple of teeth,”

Alec flinched in his seat.

Author Bio:

Sonia Marsh is a “Gutsy” woman who can pack her carry-on and move to another country in one day. She’s a motivational speaker who inspires her audiences to get out of their comfort zone and take a risk. She says everyone has a “My Gutsy Story”; some just need a little help to uncover theirs. Her story, told in her travel memoir Freeways to Flip-Flops: A Family’s Year of Gutsy Living on a Tropical Island, is about chucking it all and uprooting her family to reconnect on an island in Belize.

She’s lived in many countries – Denmark, Nigeria, France, England, the U.S. and Belize – Sonia Marsh considers herself a citizen of the world. She holds a degree in environmental science from the University of East Anglia, U.K., and now lives in Southern California with her husband, Duke.

She welcomes new friends, bloggers, writers and readers on her site. Contact her at: [email protected], Facebook or Twitter.

Update Sonia has released a Gutsy Anthology at the end of 2012 (and yes, Bex is featured!) Bursting full of stories by gusty people. Order here:

Thanks for being a guest this week on The LEW (League of Expat Writers) Sonia! It’s been a pleasure to feature you once again. Maybe you’ll next write a book about how you found it adjusting to life moving back to the States?

Out of Sync – a well known legacy of expats the world over

Guest Posts

Bex Hall

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October 17, 2012

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Out of Sync – a well known legacy of expats the world over

This week, the League of Expat Writers’ is privileged to feature South African Belinda Nicoll who moved to the U.S in 2011. Here, she highlights what one can expect when re-locating abroad and fills us in on her story.

Expatriation is a concept that has been scrutinized by many.

A lot has been written about the risks and rewards of global relocation. It sure is not for the faint of heart, and culture shock should not be underestimated. Living in a foreign country and engaging with an exotic culture can be a great adventure, but strange situations can be challenging, to say the least. Just like a marriage, you cannot expect the ‘honeymoon’ phase to last forever—the contrast between familiar and unfamiliar becomes obvious very quickly and causes great anxiety as you find yourself in the ‘negotiating’ phase weighing the pros and cons of your home and host countries. The ‘adjustment’ phase may take as long as a year, before ‘mastering’ new surroundings that require specific skills to navigate, like laws and traffic signs, often a foreign language, weird body language and gestures, as well as differences in food, water, and bacteria.

My husband and I moved from South Africa to the United States in 2001, arriving at JFK International airport minutes before the terrorist attack on September, 11th.

It was a stressful time in our host country. We knew right from the start our adaptation would be particularly troublesome. In fact, when I now look back on the past ten years, having made several career changes and relocations (including a three-month stint back home), as well as losing more money than we care to admit, it’s hard to believe our marriage survived. Our mutual resilience seems almost abnormal. Having said that, I’ve learnt that difficulties go hand in hand with opportunities. Life is about remembering the good times when you’re down; it’s about learning from your mistakes; it’s about growing as an individual and a couple (if you’re in a relationship).

My advice to anyone considering global relocation is to first gather as much factual information about your future host country as you can and to talk to other expatriates living there for an outsider’s perspective.

Once there, you must be prepared to commit the odd social faux pas or two as you adapt to your new surroundings and the culture. See it as an adventure no matter how difficult the reality is. Take notes; keep a journal. I wish Facebook had been around during those first few years of my expatriation when I felt terribly isolated and was missing my friends and family like crazy, especially my two young adult children I’d left behind. Fortunately, I’d captured our experiences in regular e-mails, as much for my own benefit as those they were meant for. The result is a recently published memoir—Out of Sync—a story about personal transformation and global change. Having written my story during a time when I doubted I would ever fit in with society again, I trust that it will be a great companion to people, expatriate or not, who have ever felt at odds with themselves or the world. Here’s an excerpt:

28 October 2001: Dear Family and Friends,

All things may be possible in America, but they are definitely not easy. Fate has dealt us some good luck on our first Halloween, though. The trick was getting credit without a credit record, and the treat was taking possession of our new car. Although I was greatly disturbed to watch my husband being swept off his feet, I’m pleased to announce she’s just a Ford Focus and her trunk is not nearly as nice as mine.

An expensive but sure way for immigrants to get credit is from a car dealer. It took Bruce weeks of shopping around to secure a deal at a reasonable rate. The purchase was a ceremony of note. Billy-Bob, a semi-retired car salesman ferried us to the dealer. By the time we got to Marin County, across the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge and through quaint Tiburon and Sausalito, we knew all the details of Billy-Bob’s great American life, including his wife’s apple pie recipe.

Considering that driving in this city is close to impossible and parking spaces are nowhere to be found, I’m proud to say we got home unscathed and even found parking on the street outside our building. Maybe we’re getting our life together, after all.

Lots of love, Belinda and Bruce.

That was not the end to the tricking or treating. San Francisco’s Halloween parade is a total cartoon show and a night of adult revelry. Excitement pulsed in the neighborhood from late afternoon as witches, spiders, vampires, magicians, and devils popped onto the sidewalks. The tradition had never caught on in South Africa, making us newcomers to the celebration. We hung out the window to snap pictures of the crowds navigating their transformed characters to restaurants, clubs, and private parties.

Bruce suggested that we watch the spectacle from the comfort of our new car. A colleague had told him the best action would be in The Castro, so we set off for the famous gay and lesbian district. He’d at least driven on the right-hand side of the road when he lived in Saudi, whereas I still had to acquire that cultural skill. Going south on Van Ness, he turned right into the jam-packed Market Street, inching forward to our destination. Minutes later, it was as if someone had opened a phantom floodgate and a ten-thousand-strong carousing crowd gushed out of the side streets and spilled into the main road.

“Wow, that guy’s dressed like a telephone pole!” I squealed. “Look—nurses! And marines. Careful, don’t hit the prostitute!”

Bruce stalled the car’s engine, and we got stuck in the middle of the street by the crush of the crowd—two shocked South Africans with free tickets to the world’s spookiest transvestite show. Streams of bizarre characters crossed the street, some clambering over our car. Eventually, Bruce managed to inch the car out of the congestion onto a side street.

We arrived home to another whammy—we’d lost our parking spot. We circled the area for about twenty minutes, uphill and downhill in the dense fog, before deciding to rent a parking spot in the basement. Later that night, in the familiar space of our apartment and each other’s arms, we toasted our learning curve and giggled at our escapades.

“Nothing can be taken for granted in a strange world,” said Bruce.

America may be a treat, but I wonder what’s the trick for getting it right?

Author bio: Belinda Nicoll is originally from South Africa. She expatriated to the United States in 2001, became a resident in 2004, and has been a citizen since 2010. She holds a BA degree in the social sciences and a Masters in Fine Arts in Creative Writing. She was a talent agent and drama coach before venturing into the advertising world as copywriter. These days, she works as a freelance writer and creativity coach; she’s an active blogger and currently runs a series of my-rite-of-passage stories. Belinda also writes fiction and will soon complete her first novel.

Thank you so much for sharing, Belinda. If anyone has any questions or comments, do please field them here in the Comments section, or revert to Belinda’s website or blog.

Foreign Encounters: Anthology from Writers Abroad

Bex Hall

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October 15, 2012

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Foreign Encounters: Anthology from Writers Abroad

I am very excited to share the following Press Release with you: One of my pieces of writing was selected to contribute to Foreign Encounters.

Online writing group Writers Abroad are proud to announce the publication on Wednesday 24^thOctober 2012 of their new anthology, entitled Foreign Encounters.

An encounter can be a chance meeting, a planned get-together or even a confrontation.

This collection of stories, non-fiction articles and poems features a variety of foreign encounters: with family, friends, lovers, animals, cultures, or just with one’s own prejudices and preconceptions.

Foreign Encounters is the third anthology published by Writers Abroad, an online group of ex-pat writers. All the contributors are, or have been, ex-pats living in places around the globe. Contributors live in, and have written about, more than 50 countries in every continent.

Author Julia Gregson, a former ex-pat whose bestselling novel East of the Sun won the Prince Maurice Prize for romantic fiction, has written the foreword.

For more about author Julia Gregson, see her site.

Following a call for submissions, Writers Abroad received 231 contributions of which they selected 95 for the anthology.

They include 16 poems, 38 short stories and 41 non-fiction articles (in which Bex’s story was one of them!) Since Writers Abroad is a virtual writers’ group, all the work to produce Foreign Encounters has been done online.

All proceeds from the sale of this book will go to Books Abroad, a charity which coordinates the donation of free books for schools throughout the world,

believing that education is a crucial aspect of human progress. The charity celebrates its 30^thanniversary this year and has supplied over 1,600 schools with desperately-needed books.

For more about Books Abroad, see their site.

Foreign Encounters is available from Lulu or from Amazon.com here:

To find out more and for a complete list of contributions and authors, please go to the Writers Abroad website .

Note:

Writers Abroad was founded in 2009. It provides an online forum for ex-pat writers to exchange ideas, views and news on writing and to offer support and constructive feedback on each other’s work. Membership numbers are limited but ex-pat writers may apply to join if they are able to support the group’s initiatives and aims. http://www.writersabroad.com/.

I feel very proud to have been one of the authors selected to represent Foreign Encounters and hope you’ll purchase their book. I know that you’ll agree it’s to a good cause.

Stephanie Dagg and life in France

Guest Posts

Bex Hall

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October 10, 2012

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This week’s League of Expat Writers is from France.

Hello, I’m Stephanie – and yes, I’m a lady with llamas!

I live in Creuse with husband Chris, children Benjamin, Caitlin and Ruadhri and an ever growing assortment of animals, which include, of course, llamas. We have eight llamas and six alpacas, although if things go to plan, that number will increase this year with the arrival of some cria – i.e. babies. We also have hens, ducks and turkeys, guinea-pigs, rabbits, cats, goats and a dog – and an awful lot of carp as we run a carp fishery and holiday gite alongside our llama trekking business. We have a 75-acre slice of beautiful rural Creuse with fields, lakes and woods. It’s amazing!

According to Eurostat in 2010, 5.8% of the French population can be classified as foreigners i.e. ex-pats. And the ones we bump into regularly come in various categories:

There are the retirees.

Some of these become very involved in local life, whereas others maintain a distance, enjoying the climate and the food and the vastly superior healthcare rather than their neighbours. They’re generally here for the duration, although we’ve known a few who have moved back to be closer to grandchildren, or further away to be in an even hotter climate.

Then there are the workers.

These are the people who, like us, come to Francewith the plan and usually the means to make a living here. Some succeed, others don’t. Many of the latter stick it out for two to three years, but then give up and go home, due to lack of funds or sheer frustration. Scratching a living is damned hard work. The three year mark seems to be a noticeable cut-off point. If you can get past that, it’s looking promising. The crucial thing is to budget for everything taking way longer than you think to get up and running. And despite being successful, yet other ex-pats are drawn back to the country they left through homesickness or guilt when their children haven’t adapted well.

Finally, there are the hopeless optimists who come to France with no real idea of what they’re going to do, but simply know that they want to change their lives for the better.

Don’t roll your eyes. Such a flexible I’ll-try-anything attitude is, I think, the key to survival as an ex-pat. You have to live off your wits. We have changed direction several times since we moved here.

Generally, though, kids flourish when the family moves abroad.

They soak in the culture and the language, and make loads of new friends. Before you know it, they’re bilingual. Living with bilingual kids is cool. To see them switch effortlessly from one language to another is incredible and impressive. And yet to them it’s the norm. The Frenchisms begin – saying an English word with a French accent, simply forgetting the English equivalent of something, choosing to read a French book rather than an English one and occasionally not being able to translate a phrase into English because, well, it’s simply too French. There isn’t an English version they can think of to explain it. I feel quite left out when that happens. There’s a whole layer of Frenchness I’ll never be party to. However, whilst French may win in some fields, my kids certainly vastly prefer English TV and the qwerty computer keyboard. Azerty just doesn’t cut it.

Chris and I are the pioneers. The ones who made the leap of faith and took the risk.

We’ve brought our kids here and seen them turn French to a degree we never will. It’s the ex-pat factor. We’ll never truly fit in here. We’ll never be as comfortably French as the children are. And anyway, when you’ve lived thirty years in one country, fifteen in another and then moved to a third, there are aspects of those past lives you don’t want to lose. But you take on new aspects that change you. You’ll never be the same. Even if we were to go back to Ireland, we wouldn’t feel at home there. France and our experiences here have infiltrated us and made us different. We’ve evolved in one direction, while our old country has gone another. Because people detect we’re English from our accent when we speak French, they often ask us if we miss England. I tell them I don’t know England any more. I left it in 1992 and I’ve never wanted to go back. We explain that we came here from Ireland. Well, do we miss Ireland? Do we go back there for holidays? I shrug. What on earth would we do that for? Been there, done that, moved on.

I’m at home being a European in France.

It’s tough, it’s challenging, it’s stressful, that’s all true. It’s taking every ounce of our energy and a lot of self-discipline and sacrifice to keep our heads above water. But it’s worth it and it’s working.

Thanks for sharing Stephanie! You can find out more about Stephanie through her website and follow her on Twitter. Any questions can be posted here in the Comments section, or to her website. Stephanie is also the author of “Heads Above Water…”

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Laura Dennis, an American expat in Serbia

Guest Posts

Bex Hall

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October 3, 2012

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Laura Dennis, an American expat in Serbia

Laura Dennis currently lives in Serbia with her husband and two children. You can learn more about her adoption, reunion, and subsequent descent into insanity in her memoir, Adopted Reality.
Here, Laura talks about life as an expat and how she overcame it by writing her memoir.

What’s the hardest thing about being an expat?

Social Isolation.

What’s the hardest thing about being a writer?

Writing. Sitting my butt in a chair and getting 500, 1000, or 2000 words into a Word document. No checking Facebook, no reorganizing the junk drawer, no impromptu manicures. Just sit. and. write.

Social Media Expert Kristen Lamb tells us:

Most people who start a book never keep pressing until it is finished.

And yet the accepted wisdom for expats exploring new cities is to Get out there! Learn the language, make new friends, join an expat community. That’s all fine and great, but as writers, we can also use this time as expats to write.

The Transition to Expat Life

When I moved to Belgrade, I didn’t speak Serbian. I didn’t know many people. I wasn’t used to smoke pervading nearly every public space.

To add insult to injury, I’d relocated from sunny Los Angeles, California. … to a city with four real seasons, including depressing rainy days in spring and fall, not to mention several feet of snow in the winter.Belgrade is a fun, safe city, great for going out dancing and drinking into the wee morning hours. However, when my husband and I moved, my kids were still little. I had a toddler and an infant and an ongoing headache. I was overwhelmed, sleep deprived, and in no mood for late-night socializing.

After the first transitional months, including just a few temper tantrums—from my kids, noooo not from me *wink wink*—I started thinking about what I wanted to do with my life.

I found myself daydreaming about writing a memoir. I’d first had the idea ten years ago.

I was one of those people who’d started to write a book but never finished.

Now that I was an expat, I decided that the best way to cope was to write a book.

And I did.

Writing “Adopted Reality”

My memoir is not about surviving as an American expat in Serbia. Adopted Reality is the story of a crazy time in 2001 when I reunited with my birth mother, broke off an engagement, and moved across country. It was too much to handle, and I ended up in a paranoid delusion that I was a spy for the “evil” Illuminati who had unwittingly perpetrated the terror attacks on September 11, 2001.

I know, right? Like I said, it was a crazy time. Not to worry, I’m better now.

I wrote while my kids were having fun and learning Serbian at preschool. I self-published, developing an author platform through social media. It’s gratifying to connect with adoptees, with those who’ve struggled with mental health, with other moms, of course, with fellow expats.

People here in Serbia are supportive of my writing. I’ve given friends a paperback copy of Adopted Reality, and they hold it like it’s a sacred document. Serbs like my blog, which is about adapting to expat life and learning to be a less anxious mom.

Turns out, I’m more social as a result of writing my book.

I’m proud of my accomplishment, and I have something to “show” for my time here. I speak some Serbian, and feel more confident chatting with those who are curious about my writing.

I’m looking forward to colder, rainier weather. It will force me to knuckle down and get started on my next book, a novel set in Serbia in the 1990s.

I’m adapting and thriving … but I still don’t smoke.

Thanks so much for sharing your fascinating story with us.As I am attempting to get my first book out there myself, it’s good to read stories from others who are expats and have been through the same process of writing, struggling, etc!

Please comment below, and follow Laura on Expat Mommy blog or find her on Twitter.

“Freeway to Flipflops” – an interview with Sonia Marsh

Authors

Bex Hall

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September 29, 2012

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“Freeway to Flipflops” – an interview with Sonia Marsh

This summer, whilst having a lovely break on a tiny Greek island, I was delighted to be asked by expat Sonia Marsh, author of Freeway to Flipflops if I would like to review her book. I jumped at the chance.

Review copy of book provided free of charge by author.

My initial contact with her was through her Facebook Page, Gutsy Living. As a ‘struggling author’ and expat myself, Sonia has been a source of invaluable advice and her support in my venture to complete and release my own book has been unwavering.

I had many questions to ask her about her year living as an expat with her family in Belize. Sonia very kindly agreed to be interviewed. Sonia will also follow up at the end of October with a little post for the League of Expat Writers.

See the video interview Sonia kindly did for me.

Here’s the transcript:

You made reference throughout the book that you consider yourself an international person, having been born in Denmark, schooled in the UK and lived in Paris & Nigeria. The latter country must have been difficult to get used to, therefore you have some familiarity with the trials and tribulations of living in a developing country. It seemed that the trials and tribulations of living in Belizewas something you never got used to.

Why do you think this was so difficult for you?

First of all, when I lived in Nigeria, I was a child. Forty years later, as a mother and a wife, living in Belize was completely different.

I have 8 different themes about what made our life challenging in Belize:

Food

With three sons, it was such a challenge to get enough food. Often the stores didn’t have fresh dairy, so we drank powdered milk. Cheese, ice cream, fresh meat, fresh bread, cereal, and other items were not always available.

Water Supply: We couldn’t drink the well water in our hut, nor could we drink the rain water in our cistern, in the second house we moved to on the island. We had to transport 5 gallon plastic bottles of water from town, and were dependent on our boat for transportation. Not easy to carry from the shop to your boat. Also we couldn’t shower when we had a drought.

Bugs

We had to get used to giant ants, scorpions, iguanas, cockroaches, spiders, and could not leave any food, not even rice, pasta or flour in a bag. Everything had to be sealed in hard plastic containers.

Locals

At first we trusted everyone and thought locals were friendly, but after several months, we understood what others had told us, “It takes several years before you know whom you can trust.”

Expats

I was naïve to believe we could trust other expats, and soon realized that making a living in Belize is not so easy, so you have to beware of those who are truly your friends, and those who “pretend” to be your friend.

Safety

As in many developing countries, there is quite a lot of theft; for example boat engines, bikes, generators, computers, etc. There is far more crime than where we live in Orange County, and there were times when I grew afraid of being alone in the house at night, when my husband left on trip back to the U.S.

Hurricanes

We were often threatened by storms which could easily turn into destructive hurricanes. I was watching the weather on my computer all the time, especially between June and November, hurricane season.

Transportation

Often I felt stuck in the house as we lived 5-miles north of town and did everything by boat. There were no cars or roads up north, so I would not be able to take off, unless I wanted to ride my bike along the sand. I tried to drive the boat but often Belizean men would try to intimidate female drivers by heading straight towards them. I only saw a couple of women drive boats there.

You have moved back to Southern California.

Do you miss Belize at all and if so, what about it do you miss?

Yes, there are many things I miss, in particular, the beauty of the Caribbean turquoise water, the colorful fish and coral heads, the sounds of birds, the parrots in the trees, the lack of traffic, planes, sirens, people. I miss the gorgeous clear skies with all the shooting stars, Little Juan, the four-year-old whom my sons adopted as their little brother.

I miss the slow pace of life and the lack of rushing around.

You seemed determined to escape the materialistic lifestyle of the USA, even making reference to the fact you felt ‘brainwashed’.

Do you feel that now?

I don’t feel brainwashed, except for the news media coverage in the U.S. Apart from that, I know that “stuff” is just “stuff” and the less I have, the easier it is for me to uproot and have another adventure.

I don’t want to feel tied down to a house or a place, so I prefer having less clutter and really don’t care what people say or think.

What, about the USA, do you appreciate now?

I think the U.S. is a wonderful place for someone to start their own business.

I believe there are many opportunities to become an entrepreneur in the U.S.that may not be as easy in other parts of the world. You just have to put in the effort. I also feel safe where I live, and don’t worry about theft, or being mugged.

What would you change this time round if you went back to Belize, or a different island? Would you, for example, spend more time adapting to the character and culture of the people? It seemed throughout the book there was a constant struggle to get used to this, even fear.

I think the secret to living on an island or in a developing country is to not start a business.

If things had worked out as we originally planned: establishing an internet business with U.S. clients, we would not have faced the problems we had with our neighbors, and the locals not wanting competition. As an author, I’d love to write a second book in Panama. I would prefer to relax, get to know the locals, and not feel like I had the pressure of coming up with a business that would succeed.6) Life on ‘desert island’ is not all sunshine and sand, as you discovered. Which member of your family do you feel benefitted the most from the Belize experience?

Despite you mentioning that my oldest son benefitted the most (below), I think we all benefitted in different ways.

I know I changed a lot more than I expected. I realized that stress can follow you wherever you go, even when you think you’re in paradise, which therefore led me to the realization that paradise is not necessarily a physical location, but a state of mind. I also grew up in Belize, despite being in my mid-forties when I lived there. My husband and I downsized when we moved back, and didn’t care what our neighbors thought about our old cars, our old kitchen, etc. I realized where we lived in OrangeCounty was competitive, but in a different way than Belize.

I suspect the answer above is your eldest son. What changes have you noticed in him now, as a young adult?

My son became focused on his studies, and realized how lucky he was to go to school and University, since Belizeans treat education as a “privilege,” not a “right.” He is now a mechanical engineer with a good job in California.

Many thanks Sonia! “Freeway to Flipflops” was an eye opener for me to read being a young, British expat myself living in Athens, Greece. I found myself starting to relate to some of the things in your book: cultural differences, learning ‘island time’ (or Greek time, in my case) but above all, your book helped me realise that to survive in a culture other than one’s own, I really need to ‘localise’ and try not to enforce my Britishness. Just ‘go with the flow.’

Follow Sonia on Twitter, her Facebook Page and also her blog. She’s always keen to hear from people with similar experiences and help out fellow authors.

“Freeway to Flipflops” can be purchased from Amazon UK or Amazon US

Language differences, not rudeness

Bex Hall

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September 26, 2012

14

I’d like to talk about the language that leads to cultural differences I’ve noticed since being in Greece.

I was teaching a new class of 5 year olds the other day and a boy piped up,

Give me a pencil.

How rude! I thought and introduced him to the concept of “Please” and “Thank you.”

However, I then remembered that a few weeks ago, an adult had said to me

Give me the sugar,

and I remembered that in the Greek language, you do not, unlike in the English language, say

“Please can you pass the sugar? Thank you (very much).”

When Greeks have something to say, they just say it, no fancy language.

And if they have difficulty saying it in English, then they just translate directly from the Greek (and let’s face it, who wouldn’t use that approach? I know I do).

I once asked a man to press the bell for me on the bus so I could get off…I said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in the same sentence (in Greek) and he looked genuinely baffled.

So, if someone isn’t ‘polite’ (by our standards), it doesn’t mean they’re being rude either.

It could just be the way things are said in their own language and they are unaware of the cultural norm to be (ingratiatingly) polite in the British language. Besides, I rather like this way of just coming out and saying what you mean.

On a different note, my Greek is still appallingly bad for having lived here for just over 4 years, hence when a taxi driver chats to me and asks me (in Greek) how long I’ve been here, I lie and shave off about 3 years. They proceed to compliment me on how much Greek I know in such a short space of time, for which I have the good grace to feel marginally guilty.

Luckily for me, Greeks, like many Southern Mediterranean countries, gesticulate a lot hence making communication easier. Read more on hand gestures from my past post.

My advice:

Learn a few basics of the language before moving to foreign climes, even if it’s from a Lonely Planet phrasebook.

Don’t follow my (lazy) example and rely on taxi drivers to be your sole source of language instruction, you may learn more words than you bargained for!

Remember, we’re guests in our adopted countries…people are being kind by talking to us in English, therefore if we think they’re being rude, they probably aren’t (unless you can see they pointedly are!)

Talking of hand gestures…

I went into the butchers because I intend to try to make my own chicken liver pate. I don’t know what chicken livers are in Greek….you try miming “chicken livers” to a butcher. I will leave it to your imagination…suffice to say I got there in the end -after about 5 minutes – a growing queue of bemuzed locals.

Ah, she’s foreign

they nodded to themselves, as if that explained everything.

Header photo by Unsplash (Pixabay)

Too hot in Athens, where shall I go? I know – Sifnos!

Sifnos

Bex Hall

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August 24, 2012

1

Too hot in Athens, where shall I go? I know – Sifnos!

August 2012, what with regular 5 day heatwaves of 40 degrees, I decided to get out of the city for a few days.
I did this last year too – I hopped on a ferry and ended up on Naxos, then went by bus on the mainland to beaches. All in the hopes of cooling down.
This year I too off to Sifnos in the Cyclades. Sifnos has 365 churches, one for each day of the year. They aren’t always the huge ones, some are tiny – but still, that’s a lot of churches!

About a 5 hr slow boat ride away for 30 Euros, Sifnos wasn’t too crowded with British tourists. It’s more popular with French and in the early part of the summer, Scandinavians. I was fortunate enough to be recommended by a friend of a friend to visit The Captain’s Cabin in the port of Kamares. It’s a great Rock ‘n’ Roll place with good music and atmosphere – plus it was lovely to meet a friend of a friend and discover what keeps her in Greece (another ‘rolling stone’ like myself who’s chosen Greece as her home).

Of course, I felt lazy just spending my days by the beach, so one afternoon I popped up by bus to Artemonos, a small village uphill and wandered around. This was beautifully quiet and as I watched the sun set, I felt lucky once again that I live in such a beautiful country with so many islands to choose from.

The Greek Cat – Hit by Two Cars and Found a Home (with me).

My Expat Experiences

Bex Hall

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August 11, 2012

0

The Greek Cat – Hit by Two Cars and Found a Home (with me).

I have a lovely edition to the household: Felicity the cat.

Regular followers of my blog will be aware of my work with NineLives, the cat charity here in Athens…hence my love of cats. Felicity is not actually from NineLives, she’s from the local vet in my new area, and like most stray cats in Greece, she has a story:

My friend has two cats and a dog. We were taking her cat for his shots and I fell in love with the vets immediately. It’s like a menagerie and homage to all things animal! He has a little garden out the front with random cats wandering around that he has rescued and worked on, Felicity was one of them.

She was a little like “Hopalong Cassidy” with her left back leg trailing behind her. I asked what was wrong:

Hit by a car. I literally stitched and pieced her back together.

I could see that, her body was pretty much plastered up too. But it doesn’t end there:
The vet nursed her back to health, fed her and she looked to be quite comfortable hanging out in his garden (difficult to home her).

Lots of cats in this vet's surgery — Rescue cats in the vet’s surgery

She escapes again, hip shattered. I found her in a car park near here. I brought her back and spent hours working on her. She’s OK, but she can’t stay here – what if she tries to get away again?

He called her Felicity.

It sounds like an odd name for a cat, until you learn that in Italian, “Felicity” means “Happiness” and understand that she couldn’t be called anything else.

That was it then. How could I not take the little mite? So today is the start of a new, third life for her. And she staked her claim over the house – hissing at my friend’s two cats and putting them in their place. I just hope we all learn to live harmoniously, and that she brings Happiness to us all.

Where did all the REAL, GOOD men go?

My Expat Experiences

Bex Hall

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August 8, 2012

2

I mean, where are they? You know the ones: they’d catch a rabbit, skin and cook it if they had to (we are coming to the end of the world, supposedly, after all). They are so comfortable in themselves, they lack ego & don’t need a bevy of women around them to flirt with them, to keep that ego inflated.

They talk to you without looking at your breasts, they hold an intelligent conversation yet can throw you over their shoulder should the mood desire.

Am I asking for too much? Is there a certain age range I need to be looking at (preferably one that won’t get his back broken in the fireman’s lift). I’ve been told older men are more comfortable with themselves…but I don’t want a geriatric!

Eleni Zoe, a Greek blogger/author of “Hope Dies Last” laments these issues in better detail than I do. I will ask her for some advice. But if anyone has any in the meantime IE: where to look?

Any difference in nationalities? On the surface, Mediterranean men seem less ‘prissy,’ but then there are their mothers to content with.

Sigh.

Comments?

Featured picture courtesy of: http://www.philamuseum.org/collections/permanent/42498.htm

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Cultural differences – hugging & kissing

Bex Hall

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August 4, 2012

1

Cultural differences – hugging & kissing

Who doesn’t like a hug & kiss, right? Well, it appears that there are vast cultural differences when it comes to undertaking these lovely, tactile ways of expressing pleasure or love.

Back in 2012, I was having dinner with a lovely bunch of North Americans on the Greek island of Ithaca. We’re all writers or wannabe ones and are attending the great Homeric Writers Retreat here. Now, as my regular followers will know, I have lived in Greece coming up to 5 years now and I am used to the tactile way of the Mediterranean countries: we kiss each other twice (once on each cheek) when we greet, say goodbye. We hug a lot, we touch a lot IE: on the arm, on the knee (particularly when we’re passionate about our topic, we get rather excitable).

Would you consider this greeting intrusive?

But I forget other cultures are not comfortable with this – and it’s such a pity! A lovely, youngish American girl asked me if homosexuality was rampant and more acceptable in Greece. I was confused…I asked her to elaborate – she explained about seeing men hugging, women kissing or touching each other.

I explained how we (wow, listen to me…I’m referring to myself as Greek) behave in Mediterranean countries and how less enclosed, more open to life we are here.
People from the UK and Northern Europe are quite bad with expressing themselves, they’re quite reserved.
Any feelings about how you greet people in your own country? Do you prefer your own personal space, or are you happy for someone to greet you as shown in my photos?

Other links on this topic: Greetings in other cultures – Bruce Van Patter
Greetings around the world: Kiss, hug or shake hands?

Spontaneity – or plan, plan, plan when you travel?

Lifestyle and culture

Bex Hall

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July 15, 2012

6

Spontaneity – or plan, plan, plan when you travel?

I’ve lived in Greece now for nearly 4 years. Obviously it comes with its frustrations, but I love it overall (otherwise why would I choose to stay?). One thing I love about this country is her spontaneity, and the fact that you can have an idea of what you want to do, but you can’t really plan, because through experience, plans nearly always fall apart.
Being spontaneous is a GOOD thing – it allows us to TRULY live life to the full (Opa!).

A man called Matt Barrett runs a fantastic website about Greece and what to expect, tips, etc and is very helpful if you email him with questions (should you find being spontaneous a little difficult).

However, I think you will agree this email he received a few days ago takes non-spontaneity to the extreme:

Dear Matt,

Thank you for your great website/travel guide.

Me and my husband are planning a trip to Athens and Santorini. We live in Jordan and it will be our first trip to Greece. I have been trying to gather as much information as possible in order to make informative decisions when planning for our trip. However there are a few points that I was wondering if you could help me with or maybe point out websites or other people who can give me reliable information. Any information regarding the queries below is appreciated.

Since this will be the first time for us to travel by boat (ferry). Would you be kind enough to explain the seating system on the Slow Ferry and on the Fast Boat ?

– Does economy class mean a seat like the one in the airplane or train?
– Can we walk on the deck during the trip?
– Are there seats with a table in front in the economy class [for extra space for the legs – as for the train tickets] if so can we specify this when making a reservation through a travel agent or online?
– is there a window seat with direct view of the sea? Or is the view to the deck only? Can we specify this when making a reservation through a travel agent or online?
– I would be grateful if you could provide a plan of the economy seats on the ferry and one for the economy seats on the fast boat to best understand the systems.
– is there a risk of sea sickness? Should we bring along sea sickness medication?
– is there any food provided during the trip as part of the reservation as in the case of plane tickets? Or is there a cafeteria on board as in the case of the train?
– at what time [in the morning] do we need to leave the Attalos hotel in Athens to get to the port on time if our boat leaves at 7:00 am? And what is the best way to get there? Is there public transportation available at that time? and how much time does it take?”

This is just a small section of the email!

Yes ladies and gentlemen, there is more to come!
Don’t worry, I won’t bore you with the rest of it, but it did get me thinking: when taking a holiday, just how spontaneous do you like to be? I realise that if you have kids, it’s a little difficult but surely the above snippet of email is taking it to the extreme??

BTW, I should add these people are expats, living in Jordan (how do they cope!)

So, how spontaneous are YOU when travelling or living abroad? Comments please, I look forward to hearing from you.

Featured image courtesy of: http://postmentis.com/2010/03/spontaneity/

Rosy’s Little Village – Agistri

Agistri

Bex Hall

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July 5, 2012

2

Deciding on a whim that I wanted to take myself off for a couple of days, I jumped on the ferry and headed to the island of Agistri, approximately 1.5 hrs from Athens by ‘slow’ ferry (10 Euros) via Aegina (Agistri’s bigger sister) or 1 hr by Flying Dolphin (12 Euros).
My good friends in Athens had recommended Rosy’s Little Village to stay in and from the moment I stepped foot in that little oasis, I could see why. I decided I wanted to discover more about the affable Rosy and we sat down for a chat:

So why Agistri?

I met my husband, who was Greek, from Asia Minor, in 1967 in Romania. We married in ’69 and decided we wanted to do something together in the tourist industry. A distant relative mentioned the rooms to rent on Agistri, an island not too far from the mainland, so we came over in ’71.

Lovely simple rooms – Rosy’s Little Village – Agistri

And what did you discover?

Well, initially we rented 6 rooms behind this building which already had a market for German tourists. I should point out that the island had no communication back then! There was only one small boat a day, connecting the island of Aegina with Agistri and for light, we used petrol lamps! A generator was turned on at night for refrigeration and we offered one dish for all every night. It was a good time.
We bought our own boat eventually to transfer goods between Aegina & Agistri, and a donkey hauled up the goods from the beach. Back then, everybody had donkeys.

And now?

We bought a new plot of land in ’74 and the new ‘Rosy’s’ was finished in ’77. In ’81 we sold it to one of our partners and left for 20 years, undertaking various other tourist ventures including buying our own motor yacht and sailing for 2 years, offering holidays on this.

Gorgeous courtyard – Rosy’s Little Village – Agistri

But you bought Rosy’s back?

Yes, in 2001. We spent 2 years upgrading it and the ‘new’ Rosy’s was open in 2003. The Athens 2004 Olympics really helped promote this place because Agistri is so near to Athens, many people came for weekend breaks.

Rosy has an incredibly international outlook. Although German by birth, she left when she was 19 and admits to always being adventurous. She says unfortunately many German tourists ask her if she misses ‘home’ and wants to go back, especially in this economic climate.
Her response? What is home? She IS home. She and her husband have spent their married lives in Greece and making Rosy’s what it is today. All the hard work they have put in: at this point Rosy gazes off into the distance, remembering the times she had to hand wash all the bed linen back in the beginning.

Great place for breakfast – Rosy’s Little Village – Agistri

Rosy mirrors my attitude about Greece & the Greeks: they have received such a negative press in Europe and the Americas: lazy, rioting bunch of left wingers. But she sees the other side, just like I do: the warmth and hospitality, people prepared to do ANYTHING for you. And Rosy has been here longer than I have, and says this hasn’t changed in the 34 years she’s been here.

As you can see, “Rosy’s Little Village” is a haven from the bustle of Athens and fantastic for a weekend or few days break. Come and discover it for yourselves.

Compassion in Greece

Bex Hall

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June 27, 2012

4

I was travelling to work today on the trolley (the Greek name for the yellow ‘buses’ that run on electricity) and two things made me smile:

1) An old man gets off the trolley at his stop – looks around him and passes his still valid ticket to a person about to board. The person thanks him very much.

(In Athens, you buy a public transport ticket for €1.20 and stamp it in the machine upon entry of said transport. It stamps a time on it and your ticket is valid for 90 minutes of travel from the time you stamped it. So, obviously once you’ve finished your journey and there’s still time left, it’s nice to give your ticket away – I’ve done it in the past and had it done to me too).

2) Same old man sees a homeless person on the street (an increasing number unfortunately of late), and stops to chat to him and give him some small change and a cigarette.

This display of humane compassion made me smile. Keep it up Greece—don’t let the Troika strip you of your dignity and human spirit.

Header picture source: http://www.lifebeyondbordersblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/FileTrolleyBusPiraeus.jpg

Travelling to Hong Kong by container ship!

Athens to Hong Kong

Bex Hall

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June 26, 2012

7

Remember back in February I posted about my proposed trip by container ship to Australia? I then further investigated my fears about this, especially given the pirate activity in the Indian Ocean.

Photo courtesy of Darren B. Hillman at http://www.flickr.com/photos/dazzy1960/5922809930/sizes/m/in/photostream/
Not my exact ship, but the same Container company

Anyway, after discussions with the shipping agent and a long think, plus that discussion with my father, I decided to go for it! So today, I have placed a deposit for a proposed July 2013 departure date. However, having looked at finances, I will not be going as far as Australia. I will take the following route:

m/v Ever Chivalry:

Itinerary:Hamburg
Thamesport (2 Days)
Piräus (10 Days)
Suezkanal (12 Days)
Jeddah (15 Days)
Colombo (23 Days)
Tanjung Pelepas (28 Days)
Kaohsiung (34 Days)
Ningpo (36 Days)
Shanghai (37 Days)
Taipei (39 Days)
Hongkong (41 Days)

Yantian (42 Days)
Tanjung Pelepas (46 Days)
Colombo (50 Days)
Jeddah (56 Days)
Suezkanal (58 Days)
Piräus (60 Days)
Rotterdam (68 Days)
Hamburg (70 Days)

In purple is the route I will take – so in total: 31 days from Piraeus to Hong Kong and spend a few days in Hong Kong.

Looking at this itinerary, the longest stretch at sea will be between Jeddah and Colombo (8 days) and then Tanjung Pelepas to Kaohsiung (6 days).

How will I spend my days I wonder? Well, don’t forget I’ve already travelled by container ship across the Atlantic, so I am aware of what to expect. It’s a good job I now have a Kindle to store loads of good reading material before I go – plus write up a fantastic log of my journey!

Am I excited? Oh yes! My next question: does anybody know anybody in Hong Kong who’d like to show me around? Or any idea of affordable accommodation?

And if any publication is interested in featuring my journey, do please get in touch. I would love to hear from you.

Outdoor cinemas in Greece

Bex Hall

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June 20, 2012

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Last year, I wrote a post about the outdoor cinema experience in Athens, Greece. Specifically I wrote about Cine Paris near the Acropolis. Well, last night I had the delightful opportunity to once again visit another outdoor cinema, Cine Dexameni in Dexaminis Square, Kolonaki (near St George’s Hotel) to see “Moonrise Kingdom”.

Lovely ticket entrance — Cine Dexameni – Kolonkai – Athens

Apart from the film being touching, creative and just, well, different, I have to profess to being an outdoor cinema convert.
It’s just such a civilized way to watch a film! And Athens has many open air cinemas on offer, as this post by True Athens author lists.

At Cine Paris near the Acropolis, get there early enough & you'll get your own private balcony! — At Cine Paris near the Acropolis, get there early enough & you’ll get your own private balcony!

My father came to visit me a couple of weeks ago and I took him to the Athinaia Ericsson Open Air cinema, again in Kolonaki to see “Key Largo” (godda love Humphrey Bogart & Lauren Bacall). According to the Lonely Planet Guide, this cinema offers the best homemade cheese pies in Athens – and they do.

Many cinemas like to show old films, and Cine Thission, located under the Acropolis has been voted as one of the Top 10 in the world! I was lucky enough to see “The Children’s Hour” here (Audrey Hepburn & Shirley Maclaine) in such beautiful surrounding.

My only gripe: Smoking is allowed and the Greeks like to smoke! So check the wind direction before choosing your seat. And make sure that big, fat Greek businessman turns his mobile phone off before the film starts and doesn’t proceed with a full blown conversation mid-film (luckily the person sitting next to him shoved him so hard, he nearly toppled off his seat).

So I urge you: on your holidays here, do come and experience the Athens Outdoor Cinema Experience. You will NOT be disappointed.

Cultural idiosyncrasies I notice as a TEFL teacher

Bex Hall

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May 12, 2012

7

I wrote a post here about how to get into TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language). What I neglected to mention was how TEFL can teach you so much about a culture and how they think. Case in point:

Undertaking a Listening exercise with a group of adults (aged between 19 to 30). The speaker says 25th December. The question asks for the date, so the correct answer is 25th December, or Christmas Day (if you happen to know that 25th December is Christmas Day).

We come to check the answers.

One student says “24th December.”

“No” I reply, “the answer is 25th December.

“So would I be wrong for writing 24th December? It’s only one day out after all.”

Er yes, you would be wrong for writing 24th December.

“Why?”

Because the person said 25th December.

And yet still this person insisted why should they be wrong, when just one day makes no difference?

A thought struck me:

How long is a fortnight?

I enquired

“About 15 days” they said.

Well technically they’re right…it is ABOUT 15 days. And then it hit me.
Remembering my experiences in supermarkets and taxis, Greeks tend to round up or down to the nearest 5 and be very approximate in things.

Example: You go food shopping. You pay, you need 3c change. You don’t receive it. Or something is 5.48 Euros. You only have 5.45 Euros. They won’t bother you for the 3c if you don’t have it, often you’re waved away with a “Den Pirazi”

This must permeate every aspect of Greek life. Hence the “why does one day make a difference?”
Well, it does if you’re undertaking a Listening exam and need to write EXACTLY WHAT YOU HEAR.

I wrote another post about idiosyncrasies here, way back when I first started this blog. Feel free to add any of your own to my Comments section.

Life is like a giant book

“Shopping Gringo Style” Chapter 32

A Belizean Orthodontist, Chapter 29

**Update** Sonia has released a Gutsy Anthology at the end of 2012 (and yes, Bex is featured!) Bursting full of stories by gusty people. Order here:

There are the retirees.

Then there are the workers.

Finally, there are the hopeless optimists who come to France with no real idea of what they’re going to do, but simply know that they want to change their lives for the better.

The Transition to Expat Life

Writing “Adopted Reality”

Food

Bugs

Locals

Expats

Safety

Hurricanes

Transportation

You have moved back to Southern California.

You seemed determined to escape the materialistic lifestyle of the USA, even making reference to the fact you felt ‘brainwashed’.

I think the U.S. is a wonderful place for someone to start their own business.

I think the secret to living on an island or in a developing country is to not start a business.

Despite you mentioning that my oldest son benefitted the most (below), I think we all benefitted in different ways.

How rude! I thought and introduced him to the concept of “Please” and “Thank you.”

When Greeks have something to say, they just say it, no fancy language.

So, if someone isn’t ‘polite’ (by our standards), it doesn’t mean they’re being rude either.

My advice:

Talking of hand gestures…

She was a little like “Hopalong Cassidy” with her left back leg trailing behind her. I asked what was wrong:

He called her Felicity.

Sigh.

One student says “24th December.”

“So would I be wrong for writing 24th December? It’s only one day out after all.”

“Why?”

“About 15 days” they said.

Update Sonia has released a Gutsy Anthology at the end of 2012 (and yes, Bex is featured!) Bursting full of stories by gusty people. Order here: